He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
