i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
