I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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