took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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