Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
youre lurking in front of me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
