Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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