I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
