id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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