On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
