I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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