Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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