So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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