its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
