He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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