do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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