matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize