Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
