whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
