My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
