I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
