I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
