I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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