Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
