Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
