fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
