Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
