Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
