RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
