At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
