I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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