her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
