He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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