Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
