When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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