How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
