Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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