if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
