sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
