I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
