I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
