I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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