i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Who died my cat blue again?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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