How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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