We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
