Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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