Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
