How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
