Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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