Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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