I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
