Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
