just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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