Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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