i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
