Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
