worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize